Older Parent Adoption

Recently I read an editorial by someone who thought "older parenting" was a terrible idea. I thought I dismissed her characterization of older parents out of hand, but when I could not STOP thinking about it and feeling defensive, I realized there was probably something in it for me.  Grudgingly, I went back and re-read the post. The author was, of course, someone capable of bearing children in the "usual" way. She did not state her age, but I'm guessing she was middle aged or more.  Her basic premise was this:  It's better for children to have parents who are in the 20s. It was not for any of the reasons I would have originally thought -- vigor, stamina, health, or fun… [more]

I do not work as fast as I used to.  For instance, I'm very happy writing blogs instead of putting away the Christmas decorations.  Oops, did I just admit that publicly?  Sometimes all I can do is laugh about my situation: (These are jokes I've been collecting and I can't take any credit for them!)

This is one of those controversial statements but I fully stand behind it. Women should not have children after 35! Some say, "Of course women can have children after 35!" They don't know what they are talking about and I can guarantee they have had very little experience in the matter. I don't care what the doctor or your friends or your pastor say, Women should not have… [more]

I sure can't multi-task like I used to.  Have any of you noticed that?   And in between parents visiting for 6 ways, holidays, birthdays and a computer that was broken, fixed, broken, fixed, hopelessly broken and then finally replaced, this blog fell off my radar.  Sorry about that folks! We flew through Thanksgiving, Christmas and the New Year holiday.  It was our 3rd set of winter holidays with the little ones, and things are finally starting to smooth out.  They understood what was going on, they knew that we'd all be together and that when all the excitement was over, we'd go back to "normal" life.  This was big progress for our little crew. I think what helped the most though, was me… [more]

Recently I wrote my Ten Reasons being an Older Parent is a Good Idea.  Now, ten days after my respite vacation, I'm still exhausted.  So in keeping with my mood du jour, here are 10 cautions for those considering "late in life" parenthood:

1. Things do change after 50.  I get tired more easily and need more naps.  Maybe that's an advantage!
2. I have to constantly remind myself:  Little kids are supposed to be loud.
3. I have to dress like a mom, not a Grandma.  No knit pants or house dresses just yet.
4. I work harder at staying healthy than most of my age-peers.  I need to be strong and fit because I work hard (physically) every day.
5. Your kids have "older" parents

I don't think I have mentioned that I am in a weight loss program and that includes exercise.  As I am losing weight and becoming stronger and more fit, I feel younger all the time.  Of course I don't look any younger, but it's what's on the inside that counts, right? I don't exactly fit in with the Pre-K and Kinder parents at our school.  Okay, I admit it, I really stick out.  As I was waiting for the Pre-K class to come out, a lady probably 10 years my senior struck up a conversation with me.  I knew she thought I was there to pick up a grandchild  It turns out she was there to pick up a great-grandchild.  Oh, my. So I get to keep reminding myself that although I… [more]

People close to our age ask us all the time,  "What were you thinking?  You were almost done!"  Here are my top ten reasons why being an "older" parent is a good idea:

Yesterday I might a new friend at the YMCA to exercise.  I don't know what has happened to me (maybe 3 additional kids?) but I think I am starting to look my age.  I am not particularly fond of this phenomenon. So as New Friend and I ascended the stairs to cardio theater, she said "how many kids do you have?"  Oh, I hate that question.  I love having 5 kid-- it seems perfectly natural to me-- but I hate answering that question. It apparently does not seem natural to very many other people.  New Friend looked completely shocked when I responded.  And she did not hide her shock at all when I told her their ages.  Because I apparently look my age… [more]

To me, choosing to become a parent was not that difficult.  I was born to the role.  I had known since the age of 19 I was infertile, so deciding to adopt when I met my husband at age 37 was not too challenging a choice.  That said, deciding to adopt our three little ones at the age of 51 was much more difficult. Dear Hubby, in particular, was worried about saddling them with such "old" parents.  I told him it was just the other end of the spectrum . . . they had started out with very young parents.  Why not try the other side? I was making light of a difficult decision.  We actually did take several things into consideration which might be helpful for someone else contemplating "older parent"… [more]

Recently I told Dear Hubby that I don't feel my age.  I can't believe I'm  a 53 year old.  On the inside, I'm like 32.  He said on the inside he is still a teen-ager.  I knew that.  I tell people I have 5 kids but everyone knows it's really 6. The advantage of being an older parent is that it keeps you young.  I have a friend my exact age who has grandkids the ages of my children.  She is a grandma!  She doesn't run anymore, she makes posts on Facebook about red hats, she bakes cookies, she forgets things.  I have to exercise every morning because I still have to lift 100 pounds of preschoolers several times a day. … [more]

Funny story.  A couple of years ago when I started blogging regularly for adoption.com, I was offered a chance to blog in this Older Parent forum.  I said no because I thought, well, that being "older" didn't really matter in my life.  Ahem.  Well, here I am, humbled, and looking forward to sharing here with you. I'm 53 and married to Dear Hubby for 16 years.  All our children are adopted, the first two from traditional infant adoption (agency) and the last 3 from foster care.  My kids have nicknames on the blog so their friends won't Google them here.  Pepper (a girl) is 15 and half way through driver's ed.  Sunshine (a girl)  is almost 14 and phenom on the… [more]