I'm not the only older parent in my family.

Yes, I am the oldest older parent (not that we need to point that out all that often, thank you very much), and the only adoptive older parent, but geezers with kids are not rare buds on my family tree. Forty-ish with babies has happened often enough ... even my dad fit the category, being thirty-seven when my youngest brother was born ... and if we thought about it long enough to take a for-or-against stance, I'd say we're all pretty well in favor.

One of my brothers just turned fifty-four... more

Continued from here ...

The thought of protecting our children prompts adoptive parents to put our hands to the flames, to take the burn. When painful concepts are presented, we ingest them, we mull them, we take what we can from them and incorporate every valuable item into our parenting.

What we do not do is reject out of hand anything that isn't already there, all that grates, or what fits, but pinches ... the details that are uncomfortable and will take a good, long wearing before they're easy to live with.

(Again, and just this morning, another list... more

Continued from here ...

When adoptive parents sit down to write on the topic of birth parents, the result is more often than not compassionate and caring, with great attention paid to treading carefully where any eggshells may lie. Odes are written to birth mothers, and adoptive parents sing praises in public and private, and especially to our children as we understand that honoring first parents honors the child.

Absorbing from every angle is an adoptive parent's agenda. Listening to and learning from others in the triad is one of the ways we do this. We seek out various... more

I've been holding this post for a while, coming back to it often while it percolates through my brain, and I've finally decided to publish it with hopes that some dialog is generated. In my continuing efforts to understand, I feel input can only be a good thing.

This article, "Birthparents -- allies or enemies?", appeared in the Adoption.Com e-mag recently and has been at the root of some group buzz.

Due to the hoopla, I perused the piece and will admit to being annoyed right along with some of the adoptive parents reacting with confusion and exasperation... more

I love the age we live in.

Actually, I have to say it's MY time I love. Although it verges on past in the geologic sense, 1951 was a very good year to be born. Being a kid in the '50s was storybook stuff ... a hopeful, post-war world where the new suburban streets were safe and neighbors looked after each others' kids, TV shows were blandly entertaining and mildly educational, and vaccination had moved polio off the summer agenda.

(Yes, I do know that bad things happened in the '50s, but that's not where I'm going right... more

Continued from here, where we were looking at earth-shattering controversies concerning Barbie! Oh, my! Poor Barbie has been banned from Saudi Arabia because she doesn't conform to the ideals of Islam. (And here I've been thinking all along that she could conform to just about anything if you put her in the right outfit!)

"Jewish Barbie dolls, with their revealing clothes and shameful postures, accessories and tools are a symbol... more

It may not always seem like it, but I do a lot of research for these blogs I write. I spend a good deal of time looking up information, checking facts and figures, tracking down quotes, and so on. Much of the time, the work is a slog toward dry toast I serve alongside whatever breakfast I'm preparing for you all. Occasionally, however, I come across stuff that keeps me entertained far longer than I should be. Earlier this week, that happened again.

Not that there aren't a slough (as in swamp-like mess of muck) of adoption-related... more

So, today was the day. My boy is now a school kid.

He woke up so ready for it all, happy to get dressed and sport his brand new backpack, full of enthusiasm and chatty all the way down in the car. Mark took the day off, and that made the whole event a bit more special. The crowd gathered outside the creche (the word used for this kindergarten-like building to the side of the school) was intimidating for all of us, and we were relieved when we were invited inside the building.

Apparently, sending notices with instructions doesn't work well here, so almost an hour was spent with the head teacher laying down the ground rules ... for the parents ... which had kids and grownups... more

With Jane and Lanny here, I'm taking time to do things other than those that involve sitting at my desk for hours at a time while forcing my fingers to come up with something vaguely or remotely or somewhere in the neighborhood of interesting to say ... call me frivolous!

Today, we went to my favorite little cove of my favorite little beach. It's right at the end of the road we live just off of, so only about 5 minutes from my door. (Yes, I am a lucky girl!) When the tide is high and the sea... more

We have guests! Yes, my dear friends from California have arrived for a visit on their way ... okay, way out of their way, but we're ignoring that ... to a six-month working holiday in Italy. Jane and I have been friends for 20 years or so, and because we're fair about such things, over the years we have shared our toys with her husband, Lanny, and let him play ... sometimes.

Although Jane and I met when she was a zoo person, she's been a teacher of second graders since shortly after I left the States, and this is... more