In my last post I quoted Bette Davis saying that aging, "ain't for sissies." I have been a Bette Davis fan all of my life. My first exposure to any of her movies was, of all things, "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" When I was about 8 years old it came on television one night and my mother allowed my brother and me to watch a part of it. Our bedtime arrived before it went off and she shuttled us off to bed.

I sneaked out of the bed, went into my brother's room and got him out of the bed. In childish defiance we huddled together in the dark, terrified and quiet as mice, in a corner of the... more

They say laughter is the best medicine. I'm not sure who they are, but they knew what the heck they were talking about. You really need a sense of humor to survive being a parent. I'm not big on placing a lot of restrictions on those seeking to adopt. Of course you want to rule out the weirdos, sickos, and wackos; but otherwise I think loving, stable people should be allowed to adopt regardless of age. However, there is one criteria that every adoption agency in the world should really consider as the litmus test for assessing parental competency to adopt. I think that there should... more

First time parenting at an older age can be a pretty traumatic experience. There's a whole new world, complete with its own language, and although folks may feel they should be familiar with the ins and outs of parenting ... having seen it done on numerous occasions ... they often find that they're not one bit prepared.

A few months ago, I asked a friend who was going to England for a few weeks to bring back some diapers for me. (The disposables here are almost worthless, so I frequently request stocks of the truly absorbent kind from the real world when people I know travel.)... more

Hubby and I have been married twenty-five years on Tuesday. To each other. Twenty-five years.

I never expected it. Really. Oh I know I vowed to be married till death and all that, but, well, I sort of expected death before the twenty-five years came.

Of course I’m grateful that I’m actually still alive and healthy and doing well. That makes this our silver wedding anniversary! We are supposed to give each other silver I think, but never being the type to conform to traditions, we’ll ignore that custom. I think my parents will be sending... more

Being an older parent means finding new friends- but does it mean dumping the old ones?

Sometimes I'm the one being dumped. Some of my friends from years past don't get this parenthood thing in my forties.

The truth is, I did loose a few friends when I became a parent for the first time in my 40's. The other night I even found out that close acquaintances weren’t even that close anymore. K and I went to an art show and got completely rejected. (I wrote about it on the fost-adopt... more

I have managed to almost completely avoid one of the big issues older parents often face: older grandparents. When making the decision to adopt at forty or fifty or beyond, the thought of grandparental influence on the kids may not be top of the agenda, but sooner or later the topic will come up. Many will ask themselves: Will my child feel the lack and miss out on that special relationship that only a grandparent can provide?

Maybe they will.

My sibs and I got the short end of the grandparent stick, and my parents were young. My mom was... more

So. I'm driving in my car and I'm thinking. Funny how much of that I do in my car. I read an article once that referred to our automobiles as rolling sanctuaries. I find there's truth in that, though I hate the imagery. At any rate, I'm thinking about my brood and feeling all warm and fuzy about them. Then, a fleeting thought dashes in front of my mind--what about just one more--nearly causing me to run off the road. My thoughts come to a screeching halt, leaving me ranting to myself. What? Are you crazy?

It's not that I haven't considered adopting another child since... more

Following up on the first step on our adoption journey... after T's mother returned we had occasional contact for a while, spending what time we could with him. A few months later, however, he and his mother left the country. The circumstances of their leaving and the scene at the airport are too heart-breaking to recant here, and far too complicated. I will never forget the pain of that day and can only wonder how a four-year old interpreted events.

In one of those amazing-what-a-small-world-it-is... more

An article in Adoptive Familes mag about the idea that adoptive families are predestined to be together has me thinking about the trail of bread crumbs on our meandering path.

There is no random scattering behind my family, but a careful morsel-by-morsel placing that guides a wonderfully scenic tour of our adoption journey I like to take often.

Starting from today and looking back down the path, I can revisit our trip to Cambodia for Cj, our wait, our preparation of documents, our... more

Well, I ran into a bit of trouble the other day when I accidentally deleted the email containing all of my vital blogging information:logons, logins, passwords, codes. Geezlouise. I was besides myself.

Have you ever misplaced your datebook, your cellphone, your blackberry, or your PalmPilot? I have misplaced my datebook and my cell phone a couple of times and it was a miserable experience. You would have thought I had lost the kids.

The hassle of losing ones "stuff" is bad enough, but then there is that additional layer of angst that stems from feeling like an... more