I wrote on New Year's Eve about time running away from us like a three-year-old with spaghetti-covered fingers heading for the boss's white couch as we spin faster and faster on our axis, and had a couple of comments about situations that slow time down without having to get the entire population of the world to tilt west.

These had me thinking of the periods in my life that hooked a ball and chain to time and had it dragging.

Number One on the 'How to slow down the passing of time Hit Parade'?

Waiting to complete adoptions! That time between referral and pick up moves like frozen molasses through a straw. One day's X on the calendar takes just a second to mark off another day, but the span until the next X feels endless.

The rest of the world spins away frantically since you're the only one wearing the time-stopping anxiety suit, so the baby grows ... without you ... conflicts break out here and there and threaten to slosh over into the country your child waits in, exotic diseases raise their ugly, virusy heads just down the proverbial road from where your child is forced to live, all while you sit at home and stare at a still clock.

So, there's the answer!

We don't need to coordinate the actions of six and a half million humans ... many of whom hate the very guts of many of the others and would just as soon have time run out for all of us ... in a lean to the west or a global Mexican wave. We just have to get a significant portion of the population (someone else can deal with the actual figure needed ... I'm not good at numbers, remember ... ) to start the adoption process, then reach that point where the paperwork is finished and all that's left is the wait ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

And talk about two birds, one stone!

Not only would we get time back under control, all the world's children without would have a family ... eventually.

Of course, the wait would be torture ...