When talk arises over what can be seen as advantages of being an older adoptive parent, 'more patient' often is pulled out as an example of the mellowing process that influences parenting at a later age.

Younger parents may be characterized as eager and enthusiastic, but also a tad impetuous and perhaps having a shorter fuse than the been-around-the-block moms and dads who should be more relaxed about going with the flow.

Being as that I have never been a patient person, and might actually be less so now that I'm older since I feel the pressure of 'time allowed' bearing down on me more and more each year, I don't subscribe to the theory of patience expanding with candle counts and waistlines.

What I do suspect may be true, however, is that while patience with rugrats may not be tied to age, undue tolerance could very well be.

If so, we're right in there with the trendy, younger set with the toned abs, as this article out of the UK illustrates in a report on how many of today's parents routinely resort to bribery as a method of getting kids to behave.

In it, a 35-year-old mom admits, "It's definitely more our generation ... I'm sure our parents would be appalled if they knew how much we bribe our children.''

Maybe so, but when the parents in the age group she refers to are first-time moms and dads, they may be so knocked out by their new role, and by their oh-so-precious charges, that discipline is a practice that seems beyond their scope.

For someone who's been longing for a child for four decades or more, who's suffered through years of disappointments and frustrations, and who has poured energy into other peoples' children with oohing and ahhing and pampering and adoring, all the time yearning for a little one to call their own, the thought of sternly putting a toddler into time out, of getting a look of resentment from their darling ... or, even worse, a pitiful, "How could YOU do this to ME?" ... is shattering.

Is it any wonder these parents would choose to entice, rather than chastise?

More on this in the next post.

Julia's Parenting Special Kids Blog has a post on self worth, while Cindy's Older Child Adoption often deals with grown-up consequences.