Does the act of dropping to the floor cause a racket of clacking, pops and creaks not unlike a fierce game of mahjong on a three-legged table?

Is every dip of the hips accompanied by an exhale that sounds way too much like old Uncle Merv lowering himself into his Baralounger?

If once you've actually placed yourself on floor level, does the chance of remaining there for the rest of your days seem a definite possibility?

Yeah ... I know ... me, too.

One of the great things about being an older adoptive parent is the fact that we often have more time to spend in quality one-to-one with our kids, being all settled in and comfy and stuff, but the flip-side ... Did I say 'flip'? I must be kidding! Haven't done one of those in a very long while ... involves a full range of geezer sound effects.

Seeing as how all this time we have also has us reading everything that comes within bifocal range that has anything to do with what we're supposed to be doing as parents, resulting in a worry and anxiety list at least as long as our arms ... which are no longer long enough to allow reading of said guilt-inducing tomes without glasses ... we're well aware that we're supposed to be on the floor with our kiddies often. Ouch. Creak. Pop.

Well, hip, hip and another hip (which will not be a replacement any time soon), here's an article that should have us all breathing a sigh of relief.

Yes, I've just decided I'm in love with an anthropologist ... not the first, I'll admit ... named David Lancy, who has spent years studying humans and is here to tell us now that getting down on the floor and playing with children is nothing more than a modern invention, a trendy behavior virtually unheard of throughout human history.

American-style parent-child play is a distinct feature of wealthy developed countries -- a recent byproduct of the pressure to get kids ready for the information-age economy.

As recently as 1914, the US Department of Labor's Child Bureau was advising parent NOT to play with babies, saying their little nervous systems would be over stimulated by the activity.

And as Mica Pollock, associate professor at Harvard's Graduate School of Education, says in agreement with Lancy over the impact of copious amounts of playtime happening with middle-class parents and kids: "Some of those children are being raised to be spoiled, demanding, requiring constant adult attention, and inclined to argue with their parents."

So, drop if you want, crawl around, play horsy, build Lego palaces ... but if just the thought has you running for the BenGay, anti-inflamitory and heating pad, rest easy knowing you'll not be sentencing your child to a life of brainless depravity if you sit on the couch while dressing Barbie for the beach.