Happy New Year … Make it Stop! 2

Continued from here …

It’s not in my nature to suggest a problem without also bending my mind toward possible solutions. Since this spinning thing is my theory, I figure I’d better invest some thought in correcting what I see as a cosmic error.

After all, when counting the blessings of 2006, you may put good health at the top of your good stuff list, but health is only of great long-term value if there’s time to enjoy it … a long term, so to speak.

If I’m right in my theory that the sands are running through the hourglass faster and faster every year because the Earth and all surrounding environs are spinning out of control, shouldn’t we at least try to do something to get our time back on course?

What do you think the chances would be of getting everyone on the planet to lean west for a couple of hours a day?

According to the US Census Bureau’s World POPClock Projection, at this very moment there are 6,566,719,646 humans on Earth. That’s no small amount of physical matter, if nothing else, and physical matter exerts influence. If everyone of the 6,566,719,646 people all leaned to the west … the direction opposite the planet’s rotation on its axis … we just might be able to slow the spin a bit each time.

I say it’s worth a try. We’ll need to start out slowly… after all, we don’t want to stop the spin, merely slow it gradually … but we’ll need just about everyone in on it.

First, we’ll have to get the word out … feel free to send this blog post to everyone. Then we’ll need to synchronize our watches so the leaning is coordinated. Once we have the world’s population on board, the time specified and a method in place to get the word around as to just exactly when everyone should lean and for how long, the leaning can commence.

We’ll try it for just ten minutes or so at first, just to be sure nothing drastic happens the minute all 6,566,719,646 of us begin the tilt, and there may need to be some adjustments made for where people are on the planet … will the far-northers and the far-southers have to lean more or less than the equatorials? … and how many there are in one area. (Maybe some people would have to hold a rock or something in their left hand to lend more weight to the tilt? Just a thought … )

We will also need some way of making ourselves take note of any differences that occur. Perhaps, those who knit can work on a sweater while they lean and see if they’re getting more done than before the leaning. Or some folks could prep for the tilt by painting a wall near the lean spot, then check on drying time.

If the early exercises in west-leaning don’t cause any severe or extreme consequences, the periods of lean could be extended, maybe spawning new product markets: leaning aids, fashions that look good when tilted, flashy sippy cups for grownups … that sort of thing.

I know it will take a lot of dedication, organization, global cooperation, cessation of hostilities, training, schedule adjustment and more, but unless we do something soon … and I mean today’s soon, not last year’s soon … we are going to run out of time.

Happy New Year, everyone. (Of course, five minutes from now I’ll be saying this again … )

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