Because of where we live, my family is destined to have guests in our home, and to be guests in others' when we travel to the US. No matter how fond we may be, the old adage that guests are like fish -- both stink after three days -- holds true more often than we'd like.

Since getting to us takes a very long time ... it's usually somewhere around 36 hours of travel time from the States to Seychelles ... people tend to stay a while. Two and three week visits are common. And we certainly don't pop over to California for a long weekend.

It can be a stressful situation for everyone; guests are out of their element, and hosts are being invaded. When kids are involved, the discomfort element goes up with the noise and activity levels they bring with them, and changes in their dynamic can ramp up the frenzy even more.

In some cultures, guests are king. They may convey great status to the rest of the community, often making it well worth the while for the host family to deplete valuable resources and climb out to the edge of a financial limb in efforts to assure the guests are pampered, catered to and spoiled.

There may be an exchange that occurs making the situation equitable. For example, if the pampered guests are bringing news, or are entertaining, or in situations where arrangements are being made for future liaisons like marriages between clans and such.

Our culture doesn't tend to worship guests for the mere fact that they're visiting us. We have CNN for news and DVDs for entertainment, so we no longer welcome people into our homes in efforts to keep up with the outside world. Depending on the relationship between the visitor and the visited, close encounters of the guest kind can, after the first flush of greeting, be enjoyed, endured or lethal.

Coming up are some pointers I've picked up from being on both sides of the open door on how to be a good guest ... or at least one not likely to be the cause of stress and misery on the part of hosts that will have them longing for the minute you vacate the premises and leave them in peace, but with a bad taste in their mouths that will taint future visits for time to come.

These apply to anyone staying in someone else's home for more than two days, even family, and are not in any certain order of importance.

Continued ...