As older adoptive parents, many of us find the age gap between ourselves and our children to be much wider than that between ourselves and our parents.

As an example, I am 53 years older than Cj, but only nineteen years younger than my mother. My age puts me easily in grandma territory ... and, in fact, I am a one ... , and my mom great-grandmotherly, or even great-great if the reproductive timing had gone just a bit differently.

At 55, I'm still fit and young-ish. My mom is in her mid-seventies, and although she's doing well and taking care of things on her own, how long she will be able to do this depends on many factors no one can control or predict.

Even if we choose to ignore, deny or put a pretty face on our own proximity to senectitude, our parents' propinquity to the far end of life's path presents issues many of us must deal with.

Something like 44 million Americans are caring for aging parents or other senior loved ones, and we make up part of that 44 million.

Between our kids and our folks, we're the middle of the sandwich, the pastrami within the rye, so to speak, although it may feel more like being a one-armed juggler trying to keep a half a dozen objects from crashing to the ground than a nice, quiet slice of meat lounging between two peaceful slabs of bread.

The American Geriatric Society Foundation for Health in Aging has published tips for avoiding caregiver burnout designed to point in directions that will help before situations become overwhelming.

Helping older people hang on to their independence for as long as possible is a first step, and this includes simple measures such as installing seats in showers and baths, grab bars for stability around the house, buying easy-grip utensils and stocking lower shelves for easy access.

Asking for help from other relatives and neighbors is a good idea, and letting them do things their way will encourage continued participation. Joining a support group will help you decompress from time to time in a safe environment, as well, and may offer helpful suggestions.

Finding and using professionals and organizations set up to assist can allow some of the burden of care to shift from your shoulders. Start with your local Area Agency on Aging, usually found in the phone book under that title, 'Senior Center" or "Senior Services". If there's no local listing, contact your state's Office on Aging.

The United Way, Catholic Charities, local Councils of Churches and social workers can also lead you toward help with financial assistance, transport, meals, respite care, home helpers, adult day care, nursing services and more.

Unfortunately, I'm around the world from my mom, but to those of you who may be doing the juggling, I have to say I'm envious. When I think of how much Sam and Cj could be getting from my mother, and my mother from Sam and Cj -- even if the time comes when Mom is less than robust -- I resent every one of the twelve-thousand miles that separate us.

Sometimes it must be nice to be that cozy pastrami.