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As has been mentioned on most of my blogs, my son Sam had his fifth birthday last week. Since math is still a skill I can occasionally employ in correct usage, him being five means that I am fifty-six … yes, there is a fifty-one-year-plus gap between my entrance on the world stage and his.
In a different time or another place, such a wide span between parent and child would not be possible. It wasn’t all that long ago that the statistical likelihood of being alive after 55 was pretty slim, and even today it’s stretching the limits in many countries.
Lucky for me that I came into the world in a time and place that allows me the luxury of years, and even possession of all my own teeth. Although science and fortune won’t have me rollerblading with Sam’s children, it would be no miracle that would get me as far as his wedding … as long as he marries fairly young.
With the sort of confidence I manage to keep healthy through daily feeding, adopting a second child seemed a sensible move, so we brought Cj home just before my 54th birthday. Looking back over our decision-making process that started that adoption journey, there is no doubt that we followed the right path.
Sound reasonable? Good, because now that the rather wordy intro is over, I’ll get to the meat of the matter today …
Sam has announced that he wants a brother. He is to come from Cambodia and be named AJ.
You hear that sound? A bit like a harp being tortured on the rack? Listen, and you will. It’s nothing less than my heartstrings being tugged.
How many times have Mark and I let ourselves wander down the garden path that has us imagining … if only? If only we were as young and rich as the Jolie Pitts, for heaven sake! We’d have a dozen kids easy! If only I was as young as he is … he’s 41, you might recall … even with our present state of finances, we’d have at least two more!
As it is … I’m fifty-six. Fifty-six is pretty darned old. We can’t even begin to consider adding another child to our family now. Can we?
Photo Credit: ©2007 MABenoiton
another boy from Cambodia named AJ sounds like a must have to me. Good thing you’ve got Sam there helping you figure this out! Our oldest boy, Eric, was exactly the same way at age five. and see, we had two more boys, both added at his request……
Yes, you can. How’s that for unwordy? The child you would bring home is going to have a very different life than the same child stuck in the system until he is out on his own. 56 is not pushing up daisies. John
Hi, I just joined this blog site, don’t know if you’ll get this. I’m 53, will be 54 next year and we are adopting a 5 year old from Ethiopia. We have friends who adopted 4 girls, starting when they were 54! They adopted their last child, a 5 year old from China, at age 60. They are both 71 now, with 2 of the girls still living at home, and they are extremely happy people. They are my role models, since most of our family members think my husband and I are nuts.
Carol
I am 58 years old and adopting my 5 year old special needs foster son. I often get called “Grandma” when I’m out with him. But he makes it very clear to anyone who will listen that I am his Mama. Even though I worry my age may prevent me from keeping up with an active growing boy, I know that we were meant to be together and the bond that we share will overcome any problems we encounter. Not to mention, hanging out with a 5 year old has kept me young and active automatically! After a couple of years with him, I am even thinking of adopting again!
I encourage anyone who wants to adopt, and being older shouldn’t be a factor. We have the knowledge and experience that younger parents may not have. And the need to nurture does not necessarily change with age. It’s the best decision I ever made.