In the news ... and, hey, I'm just a little bit cranky today.

The BBC may be going out on a limb by announcing that parents should talk to their children.

Parents should spend time talking to children ... Too much television and a lack of family meals are damaging children's conversational ability, a report says.

The Basic Skills Agency found many parents did not "see the point" of developing verbal skills, focusing instead on reading and writing.

Some four-year-olds threw tantrums in class because they could not communicate in any other way.

The BSA wants primary school teachers to work with families to improve children's conversation.

Excuse me? The Basic Skills Agency? And not only did the BSA (Sorry, but that makes me chuckle. I can just hear them answering the phone: Good morning, Basic Skills...) not stop with the "lack of family meals", but goes on to criticize one of those new-fangled gadgets...

The increased use of forward-facing buggies means babies and toddlers have less chance to communicate with parents, the report adds. Front-facing buggies are said to prevent conversation.

Oh! Is that what did it? Nothing to do, then, with laziness or a complete lack of awareness? How about incredible self-absorbtion? Nah. Must be the buggies. I mean, if the Basic Skills Agency says so ... (Left foot, chew, right foot, chew, left foot, chew... )

Meanwhile, back in the USA where Presidential elections are already being discussed.

The Onion, on of my favorite sources of all things newsy, had a grabber headline: Dove Campaign for Real Beauty Announces 2008 Presidential Candidate

Okay...

Apparently, a twenty-eight-year-old, size 10 named Julie is Dove's idea of a statement against the American obsession with looks, youth and thinness.

"My self-esteemed colleagues, American voters come in all shapes and sizes. When you vote for me, you vote for a celebration of diversity," said Julie, a veterinary assistant from Cedar Rapids, IA ... "My presidency will prove that you don't have to be a size two to build better relations with China. That you don't have to be skinny to lower our skyrocketing trade deficit. All you need is the nonjudgmental support of the American people."

Julie added that, if elected, she would work hard to lower self-interest rates, help the nation focus on its strengths rather than its weaknesses, and mount a swift, body-positive plan to force Iran to abandon its nuclear program.

Am I missing something? I'd just as soon a veterinary assistant run the most powerful country on the planet as anyone (better than a lawyer, I'd think), but she lost me on the size two/China link. Has the US had a size two in charge of China since I left? Isn't that Dr. Rice's job? Everyone looks fatter on TV, you know, so I've just assumed ...

Campaign manager Nanette Villanueva says Julie will run on three initiatives: a heightened emphasis on national emotional security, broadening cultural perceptions of beauty, and cutting long-term capital gains taxes.

"This is a big country, and it takes a real woman to run it," Villanueva said. "Julie loves her curves just the way they are, and that makes her special."

Villanueva added: "She's got thighs, and that's what this campaign is all about."

Thighs? She's a SIZE TEN facryinoutloud! Sheesh! I get the whole tongue-in-cheek tone, but I do think they're serious about presenting Julie as outside the preferred norm (hence the "...vote for ...diversity" crack) and a bit of a chub. Call me a cynic, but me thinks these Dove guys may just be involved in the beauty biz, and therefore invested in foisting yet more of the whole young/thin thing on an unsuspecting, but eager, public.

I'm a bit over-tired ... and I have this twinge happening in my back ...