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This morning I found this link at Let’s Talk Adoption, an online radio show that is devoted to adoption topics. I’m not sure when this show aired. There is a reference to the elections and a reminder to the listening audience to get out and vote. But, I’m not sure if that was the most recent mid-term election or a previous election. Still, the content is timely and applicable to our readers no matter how recent or old the actual show may be.
The topic is older adoptive parenting. The guest on the show is Kay Kopit, an adoptive mother who adopted an infant after the age of 50. Her husband is 19 years younger than she is. On the show she indicated that she made a deliberate choice not to have children in her first marriage because her husband was an incurable alcoholic who, in fact, died from the disease.
Kay met and fell in love with her second husband when she was in her forties. She said that the two of them discussed their age difference and the implications for having children before they married. Her husband’s comment about it all was very sweet and moving. I’m paraphrasing here, “I’d rather marry someone that I love right now, than wait to marry someone to bear my children.” They tried to conceive but were unable to do so. She chose to pursue adoption and her husband supported her.
I think it is interesting that there seems to be a pattern of older women married to younger men who choose to adopt later in life. Is it a pattern? I don’t really know. Here on our older parent adoption blog Sandra and I have younger husbands. I have met other older adoptive mothers who have younger husbands. I’m not sure how common it really is though.
For a very encouraging show on adopting as an older parent please click on the link above. I would like to have heard a more balanced perspective. Those of you who follow this blog know that I support older parent adoption and my experience has been a very positive one, thus far. But I don’t think older parent adoption is as rosey a picture as those of us in the older parent adoption community make it out to be. Like parenting in general, older parent adoption is what it is. Good. Bad. Wonderful. Joyful. Stressful. Miserable. Whole. Complete. Real. For the good, wonderful, joyful story check out the link provided. Enjoy!
