When my husband, Mark, was a child, his father was in the British army. The family was often separated, with Dad spending months at a time away from their home near whichever base in England or Ireland they had been pointed toward while he served in Malaysia, British Guyana, Germany and Northern Ireland.

For most of Mark's early years, paternal companionship came in short spurts followed by long periods where it was Mom or no one.

When Mark was nine-years-old, John, my father-in-law, retired from the army and the family moved back to Seychelles. It was only after this big change in the family's program that Mark could finally spend enough time with his father to learn the special techniques it takes to catch loads of Seychelles' fish, how to scurry up a coconut tree and weave baskets from its leaves, to clean an octopus, and to cook a great curry.

John is neither loquacious nor particularly introspective, and I've never heard him wax longingly over missed opportunities for precious moments with the small child version of his son, and Mark never suspected for a moment that there was a speck of regret for those years of separation. Conversely, he's long held the idea that his dad isn't big on little kids.

Not that we'd ever mention a word to the old softy, but it's pretty ding-danged apparent by his behavior around Sam and Cj that he gets a real kick out of spending time with small children.

Although he's far more the disciplinarian than his wife ... but then, who couldn't be with Grandma as doting as she is ... his enjoyment of Sam and Cj shows in every minute he spends with them.

I'd not seen my father-in-law set foot on the beach except to take his boat in or out of the sea ever ... even though his house is five feet above the sand ... but now often find him tossing a ball around for Cj or baiting hooks endlessly for Sam's adventures of fishing the lagoon.

He's begun passing on knowledge of local customs, tall tales of Seychelles and bits of family history and Creole culture in ways the kids absorb effortlessly and incorporate into themselves to eventually pass along to their own children and grandchildren.

I think the photo clearly shows the true nature of this occasionally gruff man's feeling toward his grandchildren. He's not fooling anyone.