I don't lie, and unless you're the same you have no idea how much trouble that sometimes causes me. I won't tell people they look great in canary yellow bicycle shorts unless I truly think they do, and I won't yum, yum away over a dish I can't swallow. If I'm angry, people know it. If I'm happy, there's no doubt.

And that's the part I like about complete, unadulterated honesty ... the part where there's no doubt, the part where honesty becomes trust.

In recent efforts to get Cj accustomed to the idea of going to school, she's been going with Grandma when she drops Sam at his school, then popping over to the preschool for a short while.

My MIL recently had the thought that a next step is needed, so planned to tell Cj she was going to use the bathroom, then make a quick getaway when the little girl wasn't looking. Thankfully, she told me about the idea before going through with it, so I had a good chance to explain this is NOT HOW WE DO THINGS!

I have never understood the thought process that goes with the Look over there! while I do something underhanded behind your back thing thing so many people are willing to pull on children. I've seen it happen time and time again, where a child's attention is diverted just long enough for a parent or other adult to disappear or hide the toy or eat the last of the chocolate ... or whatever.

Do people really believe that kids fall for this nonsense? And do they not think of the lesson they are teaching the little learning sponge that's paying oh-so-very-much attention to every detail of the deception?

Is this better or kinder or easier that saying "I'm leaving now, and I know you won't be happy about it, but that's how it goes", or "I'm putting this toy away where you can't get it because ... whatever"?

A couple of years ago, Mark's nephew lost his paternal grandfather. The man had been ill for quite a while with congestive heart failure and there was no hope he would recover. Death was known to be near, but the family decided that the boy, eight-years-old at the time, should be regularly told that Grandpa was 'getting better'.

The anger that child exhibited when confronted with the reality that his grandfather was dead ... anger that he'd been lied to ... compounded his grief considerably, and that fact that he'd not been allowed to prepare for this loved one's passing made the situation even worse.

"Why didn't anyone tell me how sick he was?" was the question his parents had to face, and answer. Of course, by that point they realized that thoughts of wanting to spare him pain had been terribly ill-conceived.

So, I don't lie ... and that includes no lying, very little in the way of sugar-coating, just simply this-is-how-it-is-truth ... when dealing with my children. Sometimes the information they get is unpleasant. Often, it's not what they'd like to hear. But they know that if they ask a question, what they will get is truth.

After all, if they can't trust us, how can they trust anyone?