Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love. ~Mildred B. Vermont

That may be all well and good, but love don't put toast on the table, as good old Granny Gladys used to say. Many of us need to be gainfully employed. Whether we're working hard for the money, or fulfilling needs to express ourselves, fly with our own wings ... whatever ... a lot of mothers have jobs.

As older mothers, it's likely that some of us have established our careers, climbed the ladders we were inclined to climb and come to the parenting thing later rather than sooner. As adoptive parents, motherhood didn't sneak up and catch us in mid-promotion-quest, but was bestowed only at the end of a very long and well-planned path. Neither scenario automatically conveys the title, SAHM ... Stay At Home Mom.

Like so much in the adoption world, or the world in general to be more accurate, differences equal divisions that add up to friction, so SAHMs and working mothers can be found duking it out over who's doing the right thing.

A discussion has been going on for ages on the forums here ... pros, cons, amateurs, stay-at-homes, work-at-homes, work-out-of-the homes, full timers, part timers, all taking a stance and defending positions, pleasantly thankfully, and eventually agreeing that, "It really can be a grass is greener conundrum; sometimes SAHM's wanna get away and sometimes WOHM's wanna be home."

It's not all "make nice" when it comes to the debate, however. There's a much bigger set of issues than who'll pay for daycare.

"The Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving Up Too Much", a book about the risks of economic dependency and the benefits of work for women, brought a world of criticism down on the head of the author, Leslie Bennets, that she called, "an avalanche of blistering attacks by women who hadn't read my book but couldn't wait to condemn it."

Full time moms who rightly consider their years at home with the kids the best they'll ever have, and the most valuable contribution they will ever make toward the good of the world, wouldn't trade that time for all the premium blend java in the corner office with the view AND a six-figure income.Some are strident in their insistence that mothering requires focused devotion and children are deserving of nothing less.

Others may agree in principle, but choose to wrap the issue in a big package ... and being mothers they not only wrap that package, but pack it properly, tape all the edges down, address it correctly, haul it to the post office, insure it and send it registered mail, careful to file the receipt and jot down the estimated date of arrival. Yep. Moms are organized.

Continued ...