Comments on: Older Parent Adoption: Is There A Down Side?

By: marymartha

marymartha — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 04:05:25 +0000

You are right, I’ve come across several people who were parented by older parents who love their parents, loved their situations, and have nothing but good things about being raised by older parents. You hear the voices most often of the kids who are unhappy, not of those who are just fine.

By: claire

claire — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 03:25:03 +0000

I am actually more patient and definitely very flexible, just a little more tired. However, I do worry about my how my daughter will feel in 15 years. That being said, I really don’t think that EVERY child of older parents is miserable or that having younger parents is an automatic ticket to happiness. Seems like there are a gazzilion support groups for unhappy children. My own sisters are constantly complaining about “our parents.”
I do agree that we should not paint an unrealistically rosy picture of parenting later in life. Parenting is challenging (and rewarding) at any age and one needs to step into parenting with eyes wide open.
Lisa

By: Lauri

Lauri — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 20:04:35 +0000

Dr.G

Good point... I admit that my patience is not what is was in my younger years. And its good to show both sides of the coin not just the warm fuzzies.I think this is an excellent thought provoking post.. I just had to write about it myself ,it got me all fired up in a good way.

By: Michelle Vandepas

Michelle Vandepas — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 19:52:11 +0000

Ok Dr. G. I wrote that last comment so fast I didn’t correct my spelling! Please edit it for me. I’m shamefilled!

By: Dr. G

Dr. G — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 19:39:52 +0000

Laurie, i definitely agree with you, but i think we do a pretty good job of covering the positives. that’s one of the reasons i brought up this topic to post about. i don’t know if “balance” is the right word…realistic is probably better…i think we need to present a realistic picture about the pros and the cons of being an older adoptive parent. not just the warm fuzzy feel good picture.

By: Dr. G

Dr. G — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 19:36:57 +0000

true. the fact that you even choose to “go there” as an older person suggets that you are a bit of an out of the box person…
dontchathink?

By: Michelle Vandepas

Michelle Vandepas — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 19:25:24 +0000

I have a difficult time seeing myself as set in my ways... Yet I think my younger sister would agree she is very set in her ways and much younger. Could it be a personality trait rather than an age thing?

I hope that as I get older I won't be set in my ways with K. I fully expect not to agree with her choice of music, boyfriends or clothing sytles.

My very young mother didn't appreciate mine either.

There may be arguments against adopting as an older mom, but I don't think this is one of them.

In fact, if you are older and adopting I'd venture to think you aren't set in your ways at all. It is almost an oxymoron.

???

By: Dr. G

Dr. G — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 19:20:19 +0000

it's all right. don't worry about it. you do just fine.

now, let's hear from some other equally passionate folks out there! anyone with any strong feelings one way or the otheron this topic?

play nice. okay, well maybe not "nice"-- that could get to be rather boring. fair. how about that? yes, play fair. no low blows.

By: Lauri

Lauri — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 19:05:02 +0000

Set in my ways but providing a fun,Loving, secure, consistent enviroment for my daughter. Im sure the fact that Im older benefits her also. I think there can be a down side to parenting while your older but there is also a down side to teens parenting… lets talk about the positives as well.

By: marymartha

marymartha — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 18:26:28 +0000

I’m trying to be more respectful, I promise I do have such strong feelings though, like a deeply set political view, it is hard to see the other side.