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Now, thirty years later, it’s almost in style for mothers to whine about what a miserable lot mothering can be at times, not to be confused with, miserable all the time. In less extreme circles, it’s okay to admit that mothering is neat, but it just ain’t all that it has been made out to be and there are drawbacks. I think as a society we are less inclined to shove mothering off onto young women like we used to and we are more inclined to encourage them to think long and hard before making that leap.
I think older parenting, in the community of older parents, is where mothering was thirty years ago. Because there are so many of us who are doing it, doing it well, and enjoying the heck out of it, we fall into the trap of yammering on and on about how great it is and encouraging anyone and everyone who is thinking or considering becoming an older parent to “Come on in, the water’s fine!” Yeah. Right. Look, at the tender age of 22 I figured out that maybe, just maybe, there are some drawbacks to that “parenting thang” and maybe I shouldn’t cast my fate with the ones who had already drunk the koolaid. A mature woman in her 40’s or 50’s should take a good hard look at those of us who have dived headlong into the pool of older parenting and ask herself the tough questions about whether or not it is really all that we are making it out to be. It’s not likely that you’re going to get an objective opinion from us (though I’m trying my best to give you one, its not easy) we are all true believers.
I’m not sure where you go to get an objective opinion on older parenting. I am beginning to disagree with the position that older parenting is not for everyone, but its right for everyone who wants to do it. I would have to read through every last one of my previous posts, but I think when i started writing for this blog, I might have had held that belief. I probably did. I’m no longer wedded to that. I have seen some very impressive teenage mothers who put the parenting skills of some more mature mothers to shame. We wouldn’t say that teen parenting is not for everyone, but its right for everyone who wants to do it and has the support, the money, the blah-blah, blah-blah, to pull it off.
Bottom line here? Some of us are older parents and it looks good, damn good on us. I am one of them. We are poster moms for older parenting. There are a lot of reasons for that, but don’t look at us and decide “Hey! Neat! I think I’ll do that because that’s how its going to look on me!” It might not work out that way.
