I’ve searched Amazon.com for “older parent adoption” books and found there to be exactly zero, zip, nada, none... There are several on older child adoption and a few on how to deal with your aging parents, (which I should maybe have on hand for Lola’s benefit) but we appear to be on the forefront of information about the older parent adoption game.

Is it really *that* alien a concept? Probably not, I think a lot of people in their 40’s and beyond do adopt, I just don’t think age is the first thing they think about when plowing through the long and arduous process.

When we first decided to adopt I never once looked for information about adopting after or at a certain age, I mainly looked for details about the paperwork and wanted to read other peoples accounts of the travel and their children. I looked at a lot of pictures and prayed for a really cute kid. I researched several countries in addition to China and even picked up a few parenting books, that I wish now I had left on the shelf...

I don’t really believe age is a detriment unless you make it one. Just as inter-racial and blended families are no longer talked about in hushed tones, most people don’t assume that because your cd collection isn’t filled with Britney Spears you must be the child's grandparent.

In fact, heres an interesting tidbit for you, most often when I’m out and about with Lola, people assume she’s my biological child. I’ve been asked “how much did she weigh at birth?”, “was she premature?”, “how long was she when she was born?” and the capper, “obviously she’s Chinese and White!”....I most often let people believe what they will, because its really no ones business. Because Lola is adopted doesn’t put some kind of onus on me to give random strangers the low down on our family.

I have read stories about people who adopted from Russia because they wanted a “white” child, someone no one would doubt could be their biological child. Don’t get me wrong, if someone asks a genuine and thoughtful question about Lola or Chinese adoption, I go into my “cheerleader for China” mode and explain the crisis in China, the need for homes for these amazing girls and the indescribable joys of adoption.

I think one of the great strengths in being an older parent is that you're not intimidated or insecure and you don’t feel awkward in curious situations. You don’t take any guff and you defend your family with a confidence that has been developing the last 40-some-odd years. You’ve had time to mature and refine your sense of what's important.