Continued from the previous post ...

Almost as devastating? The realization that the following Christmas would be amazing, and our first as parents. When we did speak about all the Ho Ho Ho around us, that was the focus ...


Next year he'll be more than a year old.

Next year we'll put the tree up and really go to town on the decorations.

Next year the little darling we're so in love with already will be so much a part of us that we won't be able to recall life without him.

IF

Yes, then the IF. If everything goes to plan. If he is healthy. If the process happens as it should. If we are able to travel for him when the time comes. If war doesn't break out. If the sun doesn't explode. If no asteroid plows into the Earth.

IF ANYONE EVER SHOWS UP TO GIVE ME THIS LAST DOC I NEED FOR THE #&*%£¶? DOSSIER!

Just before the day, the dossier was done. BUT, the Fed Ex office was closed ...

And sending things out of Seychelles means that they only go when there are flights in the right direction, and that doesn't happen every day, so ...

Sung to the tune of "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth"...

All I want for Christmas is my kid at home
my kid at home
my kid at home

All I want for Christmas is my kid at home
or else I'm going to bite my nails until they bleed, pace a hole in the floor, wear out my keyboard kvetching on the Internet, and probably end up kicking the dog.

Of course, we all know now how the story played out. We had the next Christmas with our wonderful little boy, then one more ... and by 2005 we not only had Sam home, but Cj, as well.

This holiday still brings sad moments for me ... I miss my big kids, my granddaughter, my mother, my brothers and their families, many, many friends ... but the dues I paid in December 2002 bought me at least ten year's admittance to the Christmas Cheer Club again.

Photo: Sam's first Christmas, Dec. 2003.