I have a few items relating to older parenting that have been gathering pixels ... or whatever you'd call cyber dust motes ... in the corners of my desktop. They've been collected for sharing, so I'll do that today.

This article from the Sunday Herald asks the terrifying question: "Have you turned into your mother yet?"

Although the author takes off on wrinkles, she eventually focuses on some really scary ... read: right on the money ... observations of those not-so-subltle changes that creep into our aging selves that show we've grown up and are growing old.

Things like being called "that lady" by kids who bother to notice your existence and being addressed as "madam" in shops, or developing an appreciation for things like hanging out the washing.

Coasters are red flags, for sure, even if they look more like cork in the shape of shamrocks or tiles with pictures of Stately English Homes embossed on the surface, as use of them and insistence on others' use can sound very much like mom's voice coming out of some hidden old reel-to-reel that will have you wondering, "Did I say that?".

The example given that hits so close to home that were it a grenade I'd be picking shrapnel out of my liver is the personality change that the author describes as: You become assertive.

Oh, my. How embarrassed were you as a teen to watch your mother verbally elbow a line-dodger out of the way with an emphatic Excuse me, but I was here first, Dearie!, but now find yourself in a hurry and being ignored by shop girls more interested in their nails than your custom stepping up with, Hello! Do you mind?

The article is a hoot.

Less hoot-able, this story about the guilt that may come from caring for older parents, even without little ones underfoot at the same time, and how unhelpful it is.

Giving up a fraction of your life, no matter how small, to help those you love is fine. But feeling guilty for what you can’t do can drag you down into counterproductive unhappiness and remorse. People feel dogged with guilt about their ageing parents, whatever their decision. If you decide not to care for them full-time, for a hundred good practical reasons, you can feel dogged by guilt. Or if you do decide to care for them, you can feel guilt about not giving the rest of your family attention.

Yep, a real rock / hard place situation.

The article has a number of helpful tips and a lot of encouragement ... well worth a read.

And I found this feature about a daughter getting to know things about her late mother through eBay purchase records very touching.

I recall well when my father died how much I learned about him from speaking with people outside the circle I knew. Everyone seemed to own a different piece, and many I had never seen before.

This story is like that, and as this woman tracks down bits of her mother, she makes some discoveries that turn into treasures.

I can't speak for any older adoptive parent but myself, but I will admit to intentionally leaving some version of bread crumbs around, knowing that someday my kids may discover them and feel the me of today ... or whatever day it is I drop the crumb ... even when I'm gone.

I don't do it in antique glass like the woman in the article, but I do it, nonetheless.